


Drown out the pain

by Shellyb04



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-27
Updated: 2012-03-27
Packaged: 2017-11-02 14:21:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/369929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shellyb04/pseuds/Shellyb04
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So when the memories got to be too much, Dean would pour himself another drink and another until he couldn’t think anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drown out the pain

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a short oneshot I wrote after Season 7 Time for a Wedding. I had forgotten all about it until I ran across it tonight.

Cas…funny how a thing can be stuck in the back of your mind till you say it. He’d avoided Cas’ name ever since pulling his trench coat out of the water. He didn’t want to think about what it meant or how it had felt like a piece of him was gone.

When Sam had died, Dean had just stopped. He didn’t eat or sleep until he’d brought him back. But that’s because it was his job to take care of Sammy, but Cas…that hurt in a helluva different way. Dean couldn’t stop, not with the Leviathans out there gunning for them. People were going to die no matter what happened and Dean knew he had to save them.

Then came Amy. She was a monster, she’d killed people, never mind the fact that Dean would’ve done the same for Sammy, would do the same if it meant he could have Cas back again, even just for a minute, just long enough to tell him it was okay, he understood, he forgave the angel.

So when the memories got to be too much, Dean would pour himself another drink and another until he couldn’t think anymore. Even then, he found his dreams haunted by a tan trench coat and a pair of intense blue eyes. “Trust me, Dean. Follow me, help me…” And even in his dreams, Dean would turn away.

But Dean couldn’t stop, there were people to save, people that were in danger because he had screwed up. He’d helped an angel fall, become his friend, then left him to his own. Dean was becoming just like his father. Leaving just when people thought they could count on you. That’s what he did with Lisa and Ben, Castiel, Bobby, and even Sammy. He was completely checking out on Sam and he knew it. He had to pull himself together so his nutty brother wouldn’t collapse…or at least he thought he did.

Then, the bastard up and married Becky. Becky! Crazy crazy Becky!! And then she became his hunting buddy, his partner. Sammy didn’t need him anymore, he had Becky. Since that fake marriage, Dean had begun to realize that the person he’d betray everyone to protect, no longer needed him. Sammy could survive without his big brother. So, without Cas to be with and without Sam to protect, what was left for Dean?

With no answers to speak of, the hunter poured himself another drink.


End file.
